Uthando-Love

#WAKEUP! - Black sister, we were raised to be wives, to serve men and their families. We live a vulnerable life – of always availing ourselves so that we can be chosen.  No one ever uttered the love word when we were growing up, we long to hear it. We hear it all the time said by men to their women on television, we like what we see, it melts the sister and she gives in, we want that for ourselves, the first guy who says it – we melt, we give in, our legs become weak and vulnerable they automatically open.  We let men inside our being – they enter –us, our sacred space. We cling and hope he is the one.  They literally come and go.

#WAKEUP! - Black brother does what he saw growing up, speaks what he hears all the time from his uncles, that women are as good as cars, once used they are useless, they say what they know. Remember black fathers are never around; they are dead, in prisons, in mines, and in big cities or sleep walking. A man has to work for his family, they are told, a man is the head, he has to provide, and so he sells his soul, steals, begs and borrows to prove his manhood. They left the wives in the homestead, to slave away in the Promised Land, when nature calls, there will always be a willing candidate – seeking attention to satisfy her need only buried within her.

#WAKEUP! - Black family & teach Self-love, model self-worth.  We are only told to do for others, ‘put others needs before your own’ – our elders say.  #WAKEUP!  Be selfish – love yourself first in order to love your neighbour. Treat yourself with kindness, sincerity and dignity until it becomes a part of you.

#WAKEUP! - Black mothers are teaching what they know even when they know it does not work, it is sheer nonsense - it didn’t work for them, when they saved themselves for the one, as they were lying vulnerably, they asked themselves, is this it? They were taught to satisfy him, not themselves, as long as he is happy, keep quiet and be a good black woman.  #WAKEUP! black mothers, it is not your daughter’s fault that she feels worthy, she wants her ecstasy spot tickled, she searches with the knowing that  it is there somewhere, so she searches on, and brings the out of wedlock seed home for mum to look after, and return, in search of greener pastures.

 #WAKEUP! - Black sister, please stay with your children, bring them up through thick and thin then cut the umbilical cord, with love when they reach maturity, you have done your part – Kahlil Gibran once wrote “your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life longing for itself. They come through you but not from you”.  When you leave them with black mothers, black mothers take out their own frustration on your child, beating him, scolding him unnecessarily, sending him to church, telling him not to question authority. Besides they are passé, the universe is continuously moving. 

#WAKEUP!  - Black sister, you are not aware that you are producing another societal statistic; you might meet your child in rehab or in therapy if not in a coffin. Remember black mother’s spot was never tickled; she held back, she never lived for herself, so there is bitterness towards her own life. Be not their scapegoat of their own misery.  Happily ever after became a myth, it saddened her, she stopped to dream, she gave up, built up resentment which manifested through her body image. She gave up, totally.

#WAKEUP! - Black sister, when you stay with your kids you bring them up to be the man you would like to marry, but you don’t even know that man because you and your children are fatherless, even when you make him up, he is a ‘Hollywood Celebrity’ so in reality he does not exist.  So black sister raise your son and daughter the best way possible, teach them to question, teach them to be misfits, to follow their heart and trust themselves before they trust their teachers. #WAKEUP!  Be a non-conformist role model.

#WAKUP!- Black brothers and feel… we know, you are not expected to feel, black man don’t cry, you are told, hold it in.  You have no reference of a black man role model – You hear about Steve Biko, You hear of Martin Luther jr, You hear of Malcom X, you fear death – you admire their bravery but you are scared, You hear of Nelson Mandela, and you honour him but fear prison, You hold back. Black sisters expect so much from you, and you freak out even more – You start acting out, drinking too much and living a lie – your longing to be in partnership with a solid woman is bottled deep within your being – but the pressure is on, black sister expects you to be Denzel Washington, when you only want to be yourself.

#WAKEUP! - Do you know that black sisters love you more when you show vulnerability and openness, saying ‘I don’t know how it’s done, I am willing to learn along the way, - I am in touch with my emotions, I do cry, I do fear’ the awakened black sister embraces you and says ‘thank you for your honesty, let’s learn together’.  the awakened black brother will then take responsibility for the unclaimed seeds ignorantly planted in fertile wombs and he becomes the awakened black father.

#WAKEUP!  - stop repeating the pattern that is not working. #WAKEUP! ask who ‘I’ is, you will find ‘I AM’ you then become conscious, aware of your greatness. You steer clear of coercion, of trying to fit in – you run for cover –. The ones, who laugh at you, secretly admire you, for your courage to be the archetype and they chose whether to remain in the stereotype of a black nation that is associated with filth. #WAKEUP!

ALL IS WELL

Love

GugutheCoach